lisarcastic

england 2.0

2010-11-27T09:15:00.000-08:00

getting settled at a new place is never easy.
we've officially lived in england for 2 months. it is pretty much the complete opposite of turkey. that's a good and bad thing. there are things that i miss about turkey that are comforting. but there are things about england that make the transition so much easier. england is a bit overwhelming. a huge contrast to what turkey was lacking. however, turkey had its own charm, and anyone who tells you differently is probably lying ;)
lots of other things going on, but i won't go into detail. let's just say there's lots of big life lessons going on, and trying to figure out what it is that God wants me to learn. I know, i know, i'm not giving much away, but these days i am just feeling the need to be cryptic. bear with me. :) until next time, cheerio chaps :)

i really should be sleeping.

2010-09-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

it's 11:12 pm.
my last night in turkey.
i really should be sleeping.
but i thought i'd come here anyway and get a few things off my mind.
three years ago, i'd spent my whole life in a single place (at least as far back as i could remember).
the night before i moved to turkey, i cried my eyes out. i wrote a friend and told him how petrified i was of moving. i put on a brave face for my four kiddies, but in my heart i couldn't imagine living anywhere other than italy. it was my home. the place my family lived. the place i grew up. and suddenly... it was time to go whether or not i was ready.
i sort of knew what to expect from turkey.
i'd been here before on many occasions. and i loved all the memories it held.
however...
i didn't expect this to become home.
i didn't expect to meet some of the most amazing people ever.
i didn't expect to find new family.
i didn't expect to fall in love with a place that so many people felt so negatively about.
but i did.
and tonight, i sit here and think about all the people i've met. i think about friends that have left here, and friends that i'll be leaving... and i'm grateful.
God showed me a lot of things here.
He taught me that things aren't always as they seem.
I learned that sometimes we can pray really hard for something and find out that it's not what we really wanted.
He taught me that families can be given to us by birth, or they can grow in our hearts.
Life is short. Be thankful for where He puts you. Cherish every second. And be grateful even in good-byes, because that means you loved something enough to miss it.
Thank you Turkey for being my home.
I will miss your face.

dear bloggy friends:

2010-08-24T23:51:00.000-07:00

no, i have NOT fallen off the face of the earth.
however,
we are packing out today soooooo....
i promise to update the blog soon! (ish)
:)

today?

2010-05-27T07:20:00.001-07:00

do you ever just have one of "those" days?
you know, the ones where nothing is really wrong, but everything feels just backwards enough to make your insides feel twisted?
i think it's a whole PCS thing.
i'm at the point to where i'm really close to a big change, but i feel like i'm standing still.
drowning without being under water.
maybe it's just me.

things that i love in my craft room.

2010-04-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

my two absolute favorite things! the picture on top came from the junk store in italy that i LOVED. i got it framed here in turkey. and the second peice is a picture of me, drawn by my oldest son when he was about 4. i found it stored away in a box, and it was too cute not to frame! it makes me think of this: "my, what big hands you have mommy..." "the better to craft with my son". *lol* it's such a cute picture; and that big red spot on my dress? yup, that's my heart :)

this white cabinet came from the thrift store too! 20 dollars. not even kidding you! (the reason they sold it so cheap was because the bottom doors are a bit broken; however, the best part about that is that it makes them harder for kids to open! seriously, there's a silver lining to everything! :) inside i hung two dowel rods for all my dollar store ribbon. i'll have to save those pictures for a day when i actually clean it out! :) also the tall thin drawers full of colored ribbon? yeah, i got ALL of that ribbon at a second hand store in italy. it's all rolled individually into 1 yard peices. it's amazing :)

this brown cabinet with six (LOCKING) doors i got at a huge discount because it was built for an office on base, but then they decided they needed something bigger! inside each of the doors is a half shelf! the spaces are bigger than 12X12 (i know, because i totally store scrapbooking paper in here and there's still room!) i love that it locks because then i can store things that i don't want my kids to get a hold of (don't know if i ever told you the story of the day that my daughter got a hold of my seed beeds *lol*)

i got this tall thin cabinet for 20 bucks from my friend. it's perfect for my stampin' up sets! and yes, that is a caboodle on top *lol* i got that for free with a few crafty things in it, because it didn't sell at my friend's yard sale.

anyways, i'll see if i can get some better pictures of the whole room, but currently that brown peice is just sitting in the middle waiting for me to make room! hope you enjoyed your mini tour :)

what i've crafted lately.

2010-04-15T03:10:00.001-07:00

i made this for a friend's birthday. i love how it turned out, but i actually have another idea in my head for the one i'm going to do for myself (thanks to my crafty friend bonnie!) i'm so thankful for spring break, it's actually given me some time and motivation to get a few things worked on. i can't wait for summer!! :)

ps. i promise that the name is actually centered; i just took the picture from above to get rid of some of the glare.

what have you learned this week?

2010-04-05T04:12:00.001-07:00

so my new phrase whenever something irritating or frustrating happens is, "what's God trying to teach you?"
i know, i know. it's annoying to have to stop yelling and being angry and realize that our inconviences might actually be lessons in disguise... trust me, no one knows this (or struggles with!) this more than i do...
this week, i'm supposed to be learning about obedience. i struggle with this the most. doing what it is that i'm supposed to do, and my desires versus my actual needs. and that if it's something i expect from my children, why wouldn't God expect it from me?

happy easter from the trails (i'm behind the camera!)

2010-04-04T10:49:00.001-07:00

don't forget to be extra grateful for your blessings today!

dear stacey.

2010-03-25T03:12:00.000-07:00

just because we aren't friends, it doesn't mean we have to be enemies. i say this honestly and in a totally non offensive matter. life is short, and i wish you nothing but the best.

"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Psalm 103:12 New International Version

cappadoccia.

2010-03-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

i am back from my AMAZING weekend trip.
i have a lot to say, and i took 300 pictures!
i promise that i'll be back later this week with lots to tell you about my trip! :)

something sweet?

2010-03-18T04:25:00.001-07:00

check out this recipe from my friend paula; all her recipes look amazing, but i thought i'd share this one in particular :)
just copy and paste the link below; and yes, you're welcome!

http://www.bellalimento.com/2010/03/14/nutella-caramel-hazelnut-brownies/#more-4365

1/2 way there.

2010-03-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

i got my associates degree!! woo hoo! just waiting on the certificate and i'll put up pictures.
i thought i'd feel more of a sense of accomplishment, but honestly, i'm just glad that i'm done with that. :)
next thing is that this weekend i'm off to cappadoccia and i can't wait! there will be TONS of pictures of that!

it's the little things that i'll miss.

2010-03-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

turkey is the land of quirks. which is not always a bad thing. living here for most people takes adjusting, but honestly, i don't get it when people say that they hate living here. this place, while admitedly a bit off, is just a cool place to live.
tonight, i drove off base and went to the alley, knowing i wanted to pick up some movies. before heading to the five dollar movie shop, i decided that i wanted to get some take out too. i drove past a resteraunt first, and saw the owner standing outside. i placed my order with him, telling him that i was stopping at the movie shop, and then after picking out movies, he was standing outside with my food ready as i drove by... who else would give you that kind of service? it's the little things that make this tour fun.

i love art club.

2010-03-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

so thursday after school i volunteer in art club at the school. i've only gone 3 times so far, but each time has ben so much fun!! last time i made a clay cupcake/muffin and this time i got to do some marbling. if you've never marbled; it's definatly a must do. i'm picking up a kit at: http://www.dickblick.com/ type in suminagashi marbling kid. it's 15 dollars, but something i think my kids would have a blast doing! here's two that i made today:

and this my friends is why my family calls me the "creative" one. they think i'm dorky with my craft loving self... and you know what? i'm okay with that ;)

the trails welcome a new addition!!

2010-03-09T03:59:00.000-08:00

dear friends and family,
i have some really exciting news for you!! after much thought and planning, we have decided to make an addition to our family. no one could be more excited than me!! although i will admit that it did take some convincing on my husband's part, i just felt like such a huge decision should be taken lightly....
so without further ado, i present to you:
my kindle!
anyone who knows me, knows that one of my favorite things to do is read. comics, science fiction, fiction, non fiction, a biography... books, i love them! and honestly, i don't read as much as i'd like to due to the sheer inconvience of it. books are bulky, i forget them places, or even just the fact that once i'm finished, then what? if you've ever found a book in the back compartement of your airplane seat, chances are me or someone like me left it there. traveling with four kids is fun enough without having to keep track of a book or even just having to lug it home once i'm finished. although, i have to admit, i was worried because i do love the feel of books. i like turning pages, i like the feel of paper, and yes, i am a page creaser. don't judge me...
however, this baby is amazing! it can store up to 1500 books. it can download monthly magazines or newspapers or blogs. downloading a book from amazon takes 2 minutes! and while i do have to admit that the first time i started reading it, upon turning the first page, i did look to the left, (stop laughing, my brain is slow!) once i got into the story, honestly it was just like reading a book.
anyways, this gift was an early anniversary present from my husband, and i have to say, it might be the best gift i've ever received! if you are thinking about getting one, i say go for it. you can find free books online, and most books cost 10 dollars or less.
and no. i'm not getting paid to write this review. i just know that a lot of people out there are on the fence like i was, and i'm so glad my husband got this for me!! :) if you have any questions let me know. it's new so i don't have everything figured out, but from what i've seen so far, it's really user friendly!!
oh, and for those of you who were thinking that our new addition included a baby... well, shame on you! ;)
okay. i'm off to read. facebook doesn't have anything on the kindle!

mersin, turkey.

2010-03-07T10:13:00.000-08:00

we took a last minute trip to mersin today with some friends. i took olivia and daddy hung out at home with the boys. here's a few cute pictures of our day:

she wasn't a huge fan of the big statue people, but it was too cute to pass up!

she wasn't a happy girl about getting splashed by the huge wave, but she did think it was hilarious once we got home and she got to see the pictures.

and lastly, quite possibly my favorite picture: the things you ONLY see in turkey *lol*

did i post this already?

2010-02-27T03:03:00.000-08:00

"if you want to know who someone is, don't listen to their words, watch what they do..."

today, i am greatful/grateful (never can get those two straight, and i'm too lazy for www.dictionary.com) for the little things.

marko and brandon will be home tonight. i can't wait. :D

almost wordless wednesday..

2010-02-24T01:14:00.000-08:00

here's some pictures i took this morning before my little man headed to germany with his daddy. for those of you who don't know, he's headed up there to get dental surgery. plus, i figured i'll use any excuse to show off these cuties :)

cardboard confessions.

2010-02-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

there are things that i need to clear up. this will make sense to some of you, but for others it will not. bear with me until we resume our regularly scheduled program.
i don't believe in running away from things. i know that when times get tough, often our first reaction is to bury our heads in the sand and run away. we don't want to confront people because it can be a scary thing. i very rarely feel like i have to make apologies. i realize that i make mistakes, and other people do too, but i think that sometimes it's just better to move on without dwelling on it. dwelling causes things to fester and burn. life is too short for that. i try not to burn bridges that eventually have to be crossed. i forget quicker than i forgive. my flaws are often apparent. i like myself. i like all the rough edges.
but i'm not hiding. i'm not going to cut off my nose to spite my face. so this is me in my entirety. i'm slowly learning what makes someone a real friend. that being said feel free to stalk me all you want...

what's stuck in my head.

2010-01-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

a couple of weeks back olivia came home from daycare singing a song about a bee; so i had to go look it up, and now i can't get it out of my head... still, it's the cutest little song, and there's nothing cuter than little miss. olivia singing it!

"i'm bringing home a baby bumblebee
won't my mommy be so proud of me,
i'm bringing home a baby bumblebee...
ouch, it stung me
i'm squishing up a baby bumblebee
won't my mommy be so proud of me,
i'm squishing up a baby bumblebee,
eww!! it's yucky!
i'm wiping up my baby bumblebee
won't my mommy be so proud of me,
i'm wiping up my baby bumblebee
now my mommy won't be mad at me!"

random musings.

2010-01-03T12:19:00.001-08:00

i wanted to be inspired to write all sorts of things about the new year and resolutions, etc. but tonight i want to focus a little bit on the past.
saying goodbye to things is never easy.
i'm pretty sure i've written that before.
it's just that the older i get the more real the term "forever" is.
i am terrible at good-byes. so terrible in fact that when at all possible, i avoid them.
however, some goodbye's just can't be avoided. there are things that you eventually have to let go of.
things that you cannot dwell on, or wish to change, no matter how deeply it pains you to do so. at the end of 2009, i honestly felt a slight breath of relief.
it was a reminder to move on. to hope for bigger and better things. but also a reminder to live life the way that you intended. in the words on someone i love deeply, "life is too short to be unhappy."
here's hoping that all your dreams come true in 2010... and an encouraging reminder that the best is yet to be.

I just needed the proper motivation...

2009-12-08T21:38:00.000-08:00

WE FOUND OUT WHERE WE ARE GOING!!!! COME SEPT. 2010 WE WILL BE MOVING TO ENGLAND!
totally not what i expected to get, but none the less, i'm super stoked!! i was so afraid that we'd get alaska. which i'm totally not knocking because it does look beautiful, and i promised myself that no matter where we went i would look on the bright side; but i am super excited about england. it will definately be interesting!
hopefully we will be there four years so that michael can graduate there (really, four years until graduation?? what the heck?) and i'm really wanting to enroll olivia into the preschool's there. i've heard great things about the schooling, and well, i just think it'll be a good chance to do some travelling. plus, we know quite a few people stationed there, so that's a huge bonus for us! we came to turkey with pretty much no info (minus the limited things that i remember from when i was 15, and that made pcsing so much harder!)
however, now that real countdown begins and i'm so excited to see what's in store for the Trail family!!

buh.

2009-11-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

i have so many things that i could be blogging about.
billions and trillions of thoughts floating around my brain.
yet...
i got nothing.
i'm still alive.
and will one day soon put something down.
bear with me.

two things i love:

2009-09-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

it's no secret that i love etsy and freebies :)
so check out this super cute shop (Gulf Coast Cottage):
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6192066
and if you feature it in your blog, she'll send you a free sushi pattern! check out her blog for more details!!
everybody wins!!

blog.

2009-09-13T10:51:00.001-07:00

can someone help me make my blog pretty??? it's so boring and generic right now.

my day was "s'more" fun than your day! ;)

2009-09-13T06:43:00.000-07:00

olivia wanted to make a necklace too!

2009-09-12T05:16:00.000-07:00

eventually i just helped her by holding the string and she picked the noodles that she wanted to put on there.
and here's the finished product:

feel free to make fun of her cute face, because that's the face she makes EVERY single time i say cheese; it's so scrunched up and hilarious!

pasta; it's not just for eating these days.

2009-09-12T03:49:00.000-07:00

totally worth the $5 i spent a yard sale!

2009-09-12T03:05:00.000-07:00

if you look at the picture closely you'll see that brandon has his cars "parked". the best part is that it was rolled up and leaning against the front door, but when i came inside, brandon had our living room carpet (a small one) rolled up and his new carpet down already. excited much? thanks bonnie!

i'll admit it.

2009-09-11T01:20:00.000-07:00

generally i'm a quitter.
i have no follow through or commitment when it comes to certain things.
however my new goal is to see things through to the end, and it's become a slight obsession with my latest project.
so without further ado (is that spelled right?) i present to you the fabric letters that have taken over my craft/kitchen/living room the past few nights while mark's been at work:

what i'm working on now.

2009-09-06T11:58:00.001-07:00

just when i thought i had enough craftiness, i decided that i wanted to go ahead and try this personalized name pillow that i had seen. my goal is to make one for each of my kids. of course i have more girly fabrics, so this is the one i started with:

this is just the top. i'm debating whether or not to add a strip of the black and white material around the edges. just to make it a bit bigger. i appliqued on the letters and then hand stitched them while i was watching tv. overall i think it's super cute and can't wait to finish it so that i can get started on the boy ones :)

other things we just HAD to make! :)

2009-09-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

since we had lots of beads from the day i spent at the bead store (pictures to follow, they're on my other memory stick) olivia NEEDED a bracelet. well, after the third time that i dropped the bracelet i was making, daddy gave it a try and came up with this:

here's a close up; that string was one that was cut on the table (it's not attached to the bracelet, even though it looks like it)

and then we decided that this baby needed a binky:

so a few magnets later, we were all happy; and sort of crafted out!

i'll save the juicebox wallet that i made for another day :)

close ups of the diaper

2009-09-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

i meant to post these with the other post; oops!

crafty sunday.

2009-09-06T02:52:00.001-07:00

the problem? this poor naked baby!the solution? skip to my lou's really simple diaper tutorial! www.skiptomylou.org/2008/09/19/how-to-make-a-diaper-for-a-childs-doll/
and yes, that is diego fabric; the two little ones both love dora and diego! the only thing i did different with the tutorial is that i sewed little snaps instead of velcro. (despite my best attempts at organizing, i still can never find exactly what i'm looking for, so i tend to improvise A LOT! ;)
problem solved=happy babies!

dear matthew; this one's not for you.

2009-09-04T11:49:00.000-07:00

my poor blog lately has been quite bare and sad. not necessarily because i lack things to talk about or that i haven't been taking pictures.
quite the opposite really.
i have lots of things to talk about. lots of things to say.
yet, one day i woke up and realized that right now it's not okay to be me.
my speech is limited and my thoughts are quite polite and unassuming. never before have i ever felt like i should be so apologetic about being myself. if i thought it were appropriate i might even use the F word. instead, let me just say this. right now, i'm just being honest.
(that's for you eloise.)
*lol*
anyways, here's my few random non descript and politically correct thoughts for the day/week/month:
-i believe that God has a plan for everything. sometimes sitting tight and waiting for things to run their course is hard. just because you feel like nothing is changing, and it feels like the whole world is sitting still, it doesn't mean it really is. things are in the works. never doubt that. <--- says the girl who feels stuck.
-goodbyes are hard. and never in my life have i struggled with them the way that i am right now. but this too will pass.
-some things about becoming your mother aren't all bad.
-never let other people make you feel like less. see things for what they are and accept them for what they are. at the end of the day you will always know where you stand.
letting go is something i will never do gracefully.
and i <3 cryptic talk more than anything.
that's it.
for now.

'cause that's how i roll...

2009-09-03T12:04:00.000-07:00

this is me:

and this is what i'm driving:

dinner.

2009-08-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

so there's this amazing little bakery down in the alley where you can get fresh bread every day. a loaf is 20 kurus (which is seriously way less than 20 cents).

well, if you bring toppings they will put it on for no extra charge. so tonight being lazy i took leftover meatloaf, added some sauce and spices, and brought it down there with a bag of cheese... and this is what i got for 7 lira (which converts to $4.75) basically our dinner tonight was about $12, and there's so much i shared with the neighbors and still have a ton leftover!

this is one of the things i will miss the most about turkey.

turkish bread bowls

2009-08-22T01:27:00.000-07:00

not just for bread anymore *lol*

my weekly craft project (from this week!)

2009-08-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

okay, here's the purse that i'm working on (with TONS of help from kim and april!)

i think it's coming along really nicely. i still have to sew on the straps and do the inside, but at least you can tell it's really a purse!! yay!! plus, i LOVE this fabric and wanted to use it on something cool. the grey fabric that's on the straps and that will be on the inside is a pair of 50 cent thrift store pants! :)

i also made a cute little fabric ball last night just to see if i could. i'll post pictures of that when i do it again; this time adding taggies to it. it looks a little boring with no taggies.

my weekly craft; from LAST week.

2009-08-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

so i'm a little behind with the blogging and trying to catch up!
this was really fun and easy to make:

applique really might be one of my new favorite things!

even the commisary is fun w/ these two! :)

2009-08-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

it might surprise you to learn:

2009-08-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

i internalize.
A LOT.
i am loud. out spoken. opinionated.
but that's just the slight outer layer.
i am giving myself an ulcer.
doing what's right for you
is easier to imagine
than it is to follow through with.
everyone's got their own agenda.
i don't know why i feel the need to be impressive.

as promised; mersin in pictures.

2009-08-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

so fun.

the art of applique...

2009-08-11T21:03:00.001-07:00

sometimes i get an idea in my head and i have to craft it. i've been tossing around the idea of appliqueing for a few months now. to the point where i actually had all the supplies; i just needed the proper motivation.
well the proper motivation came in the form of me cleaning my craft room and finding a single onesie that looked so sad and lonely. so while i was watching a really boring movie (at 10 pm) i decided to bust out the supplies...
so i stenciled my design cut it out, found the fabric i wanted, loaded the machine... and then realized that i didn't have an iron!
why, you ask??
well, apparently mine got knocked over about a hundred times and finally just broke. so i had thrown it away. of course these aren't the things you are thinking of at 10 pm when inspiration strikes...
i was tempted to go knock on my neighbor's door, but at this point it was about 11... i didn't want them to think i was more insane than they probably already do (love you kim and glenn!) so i started thinking... was it possible that i had an extra iron stashed away somewhere?? (those of you who know me, know that this is entirely possible...) but no. there was nothing... until i realized what i had upstairs in my bathroom!!
when in doubt people... use your hot iron! that's right, a hot iron for your hair will work as an iron in a pinch... it definately worked better than the crappy iron i had thrown out days earlier!
so, i got my crafting fix in and didn't have to wake anyone up!
i don't have a camera right now, but i will post pictures tomorrow or the next day. i picked a purple skull to put on the onesie. next time i will pick a much simpler design until i get better at stitching. still, thought you might get a kick out of the hot iron idea, and be proud of me for knocking out my crafty goal by tuesday night!

be jealous. very jealous!

2009-08-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

i got to ride to mersin w/ a friend today and eat lunch at the hilton.
it was so fun to have a grown up day!
i'll post pictures when i get my camera back :)

ps. i'll have you know that turkish people think it's hilarious that i take pictures of my food!

you might just live in turkey...

2009-08-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

if your kids wear knit hats and eat freeze pops.

ps. dirt just makes her cuter so don't be a hater ;)

today we went to the fabric store...

2009-08-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

and this is what it looked like:

five floors of fabric fun and a dolmus ride to boot :)

good times!!

when it's okay to play with your food...

2009-08-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

you know, lately i've been totally neglecting one of my favorite things!

CRAFTING!

so in an effort to reconnect with some of the things i love, i'm setting a goal for myself; one new crafty item a week.

i've printed out a few fun tutorials and have decided to start the first one this week!

here's my first effort at felt food:

i actually have a second one half finished w/ blue "sprinkles". i'll post that one after i finish sewing it.

and here's michael and mae enjoying the fruits of my labor *lol*

untitled.

2009-08-05T23:30:00.000-07:00

i don't know how not to get involved.
i don't know how to not wear my heart on my sleeve.
how do people live their lives without caring?
i get emotionally invested and then immediatley...
well, months later perhaps,
regret taking people at face value.
i hate being judged,
yet judge people for being so...
so something.

wordless wednesday.

2009-08-05T11:41:00.001-07:00

what i have learned.

2009-08-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

people hate change. i grew up believing that i did too. the last two years have taught me that not only do i NOT hate change. but i actually crave it.
i have spent a lot of my life being afraid to try new things. i worry about what people will think and what people will say. but really? i think most of the time people are so wrapped up in their own buisiness and/or insecurities that they don't have the time to really worry about critiquing us. and even if they do, i have finally reached the point in my life, where i just can't care. caring about what other people do and say is just exhausting.
sometimes the biggest decisions are the hardest to make. but they are also the most important. i need to do what is right for me.
here lately i feel like all my blogs are saying the same thing indirectly.
so in a nutshell:
life is short, you don't always have time to wear pants.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS???

2009-08-01T03:15:00.001-07:00

my 300th post! holy cow! i talk a lot, right?
well, here's the deal. if you leave me a comment on this post, i will send you something cool in the mail! that's the deal :) just leave me a comment and your e:mail, and i will get in touch w/ you for your address! who can resist free stuff?? ;)

doubletalk.

2009-08-01T01:23:00.000-07:00

"we are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those that we do not care for."

the only power that people have over us, is the power that we give them. why do we live in a world where we let other people's opinions dictate us?
while i do think that we have a moral responsibility to do what's right, why do we get so engulfed in what other people think?
if you're going to be brave enough to do something or act a certain way, you should at least be brave enough to stand behind your decision. i think that we just do things because we think that no one will call us out on it, and then when they do, we backtrack or make excuses or point fingers in other direction.
i am far from perfect. i make mistakes. i say things i shouldn't. but i want to at least be the person who is willing to say, "yeah, i did that." and when i'm wrong, i should be strong enough to apologize.
it's natural to want to nurture. to want everyone to love you. but realistically, not everyone will. at the end of the day, i just want people to know that i am the person that i say i am.
some days being the "bigger" person is exhausting.
some days you stoop to other people's levels.
some days you realize that not everyone wants to be saved.
some days you have to close the door and realize that there is no window.
and today i can't be honest enough.

i do have a heart... i bought it at the thrift store! ;)

2009-07-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

ummm. do you mind?

2009-07-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

bordering on tmi land.

2009-07-26T11:28:00.001-07:00

i'm just wondering, when did the world start wearing its heart on its sleeve?
i know that we are living in the age of "enlightenment" but really there is such a thing as TMI. maybe that's why i'm so vague in my blogs. i like to work things out in my own mind and sometimes writing is therapeutic, but i can't wear my feelings on the front of my shirt.

some things.

2009-07-23T22:51:00.001-07:00

the best part about being young and ridiculous is...?

a sneak peak at our new thrift store:

2009-07-19T00:07:00.000-07:00

this is the view from the front door:

this is the area to the left when you walk in:

this is the future ICSC storage area:

this is the baby changing/nursing nook:

"the back room" (use your imagination people!)

where the counter is going (against that wall):

this is the front door:

so now i'm consumed with ideas of painting, placement and signs. i LOVE the new space! if you have any tips or decorating ideas, please please share them!!

dear zia christie...

2009-07-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

olivia would like to thank you for her new baby. she loves her so much that she has named her after herself; so without further ado, i present olivia and EEEYa:

sometimes... i wish i was brave.

2009-07-14T11:31:00.001-07:00

"sometimes
i wish i was brave.
i wish i was stronger.
i wish i could feel no pain.
i wish i was young.
i wish i was shy.
i wish i was honest.
i wish i was you not i.
'cause i feel so mad.
i feel so angry.
i feel so callous.
so lost, confused again."
box car racer, "i feel so"

i picked up a book from the library today called "portraits of 9/11/01."
flipping to a random page, this is what i read:

"Stephanie Irby would have fit right in on the Starship Enterprise. Her collection of Star Trek video-tapes just blew my mind," said Addison Irby, an older brother."

and i stop and think. this is a book about people who have died. a sad and tragic book... and this is someone's legacy.

if i were to die tomorrow, an honest review of this past month or so would be, "lisa was angry."

i can't go into details, because i think this would be a very inappropriate place for them, but i realize that i have let someone get the best of me. i have let situations take root and just overtake my feelings. i have let someone take something from me. i have let someone make me feel badly about myself. and i have let myself get angry.

one thing i have learned is that i am who i am.
i can't, and don't make apologies for being myself; even when sometimes i admitedly should.
i have my flaws, but in general i would like to think that i can admit that i don't mind the person i am.
i like myself.
this may be a shocking revelation to some of you. but it is possible to go through life being content. it is okay to go through life counting your blessings and being grateful.

a friend once told me, "you past doesn't determine who you become." tomorrow is a new day. and while there are things that need to be done that might not be so pleasant, i am thankful for new days. i am thankful that even when some things come to an end, it might really just be giving way to a brand new begining.

two? really?

2009-07-11T04:04:00.000-07:00

olivia turns two tomorrow. my kids are all growing up too quickly. *sigh*

*funny story behind the dress she's wearing*
she got invited to a birthday party for her friend madeleine; so when i asked her daddy to dress her, he let her pick out her outfit; and this is what she picked. when i saw it, i immediatley picked out another (very cute and frilly dress) and said, "olivia, let's wear this pretty dress to your party." she shook her head and said, "no wear that dress. i wear this dress." so there you have it... she went to a party dressed as the princess that she is (minus the wings) *lol*

a deleting kind of day.

2009-07-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

i blog carefully.
thoughtfully.
and with the delete button at my full disposal.
that being said,
sometimes i wish life had a backspace button.

k-town and mt. nemrut in pictures.

2009-07-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

just a few pictures from our trip. overall i'm glad i went; it was one of the places on my list to visit. however, the drive up there and back is a killer. 5 1/2 hours each way. plus, getting up at 2 am to see the sunrise was a bit much. (which explains why i look so pretty in all my pictures) *lol* anyways, if you want to see the pictures bigger, then just click on them. i have way more pictures for anyone else who wants to see them :)

you really can have your cake and eat it too.

2009-06-27T00:38:00.000-07:00

this is what bad babies look like:

2009-06-27T00:31:00.001-07:00

double time out:

my new favorite quote:

2009-06-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

"even a peice of paper has two sides." -japanese proverb.

olivia and joey

2009-06-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

please don't drink and drive!

2009-06-24T06:12:00.001-07:00

on june 21'st we were rear ended by a drunk driver on our way home from vacation. we were stopped at a red light when we got hit. luckily, there was very little damage to our car, and more importantly no one was hurt! but according to the police report the other driver was almost four times over the legal limit! how scary to think of how badly this could have ended.

where it happened:

the damage to our car:

the damage to the other car:

the driver actually left the scene of the crime and tried to hide across the street. we stayed put and didn't move our vehicle, despite multiple people trying to convince us to. we got a hold of a friend who called the law enforcement desk and they sent out a translator and called the traffic police. when we crossed the street to give the police our statement, the guy who hit us ran back over to his car and tried to start it to leave the scene. luckily, it didn't start and the police got him. also, in the report they said it was 100% the other driver's fault; apparently this is really rare, because they normally automatically give you at least 20% of the blame.

is it july yet?

2009-06-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

things i have learned this month:

always have a way to reach people when you are in a foreign country. learn how to dial country codes in case of accidents!

people really really hate change. sometimes even when it's change for the better.

never underestimate the kindness of strangers. and don't overestimate the depth of friendship.

always be careful what you say and how you present yourself. one thing. one wrong move. one bad decision. those are things that can alter the way people think of you forever.

i blog way more when i have nothing to talk about. having real topics feels very overwhelming.

people will totally sing you happy birthday for a discount :)

and lastly, i've always known this, but just as a reminder. life is short. you never know what's just around the corner. be thankful and live big. God has called us for something greater... this is really what matters.

belated.

2009-06-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

here's a picture of me and the man that i've been married to for 8 years and 11 days.

and here's us when we first started dating nine years ago:

sorry i haven't updated my blog in a kabillion years. there's a lot going on, and it's just not things that i want to process online. sorry matt; i know work is boring ;)

when life gives you lemons...

2009-05-24T00:19:00.000-07:00

something new.

2009-05-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

my kids have taken to calling me MOMEEYA...
it's cute, funny and annoying all the time. *lol*
momeeya. momeeya. momeeya.
that's what i hear all day long.

these two melt my heart.

2009-05-17T03:38:00.001-07:00

despite the fighting and the messes. these two really are best friends. and it's absolutely precious!

my little mommy.

2009-05-17T02:04:00.000-07:00

she loves her babies :)

stick 'em up.

2009-05-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

she likes the clackity clack sound that her boots make on the tile :)

and yes, she dressed herself! *lol*

notice her shoes are on the wrong feet! ;)

i'll get off my soapbox now.

2009-05-14T01:34:00.000-07:00

i firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. be it good, bad or indifferent. i know that i've said this before.
i've had some amazing people come into my life, and i've also had some horrible (horrible, by my judgemental definition of course) people come into my life. and well, truthfully, it's easy to thank God for all the wonderful people... not so easy to be grateful for the ones who hurt our feelings or say mean things.
not too long ago, i had a situation where i was really angry. angry to the point where lots of mind cursing didn't seem to help. and while i was there in the midst of it (curse words and all, buried deep in my own self pity...) something made me stop. and suddenly, i was flooded with all the times that i had said mean things. all the times that i had been horribly judgemental and cruel. the times when i put my own needs first, hoping that my decision would hurt whoever the intended target was...
swallowing your pride, and admiting your own guilt in the situation is never easy. in fact, sometimes it's down right impossible. but God has really convicted me in this way... it's easy to be ugly and hurtful at someone else's expense. but God has called us to love. and no matter what your views are on religion or God, or Jesus, how can this be wrong? how can anybody lose if we simply love each other?
i am not an expert. i am probably the worst example of a christian, because i do have a big mouth, i do have lots of flaws, and honestly, i am probably the most unworthy of unconditional love... however, in this same sense, i am probably the best example because if the depth of God's GRACE doesn't shine through this mess, then what else will?? Nothing I do could ever be good enough, and that's all the more reason to be thankful for His gift.

"and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
romans 8:28

i wish i could quit you...

2009-05-13T07:52:00.001-07:00

if you notice me missing from your blog readers, please know that i didn't delete you, i just put you on my blog list so that i's easier for me to follow you! :) yes, that's right, i love my bloggy friends *lol*

happy mother's day!

2009-05-10T06:18:00.000-07:00

so i woke up with the dreaded though of having to clean my kitchen (we had a barbeque last night, and went to bed way too late to clean up after) however, much to my surprise and absolute delight! i woke up to a SPOTLESS kitchen courtesy of michael and chris! what a beautiful and thoughtful surprise!! :)

so these are the monkies that i got to spend mother's day with.

michael, chris (who was on loan), brandon, olivia and sammy:

after a few group shots, we decided to venture to adana to enjoy brunch at the hilton. and here's our day in pictures!

so i hope you enjoyed your mother's day as much as i did. or at least felt just as loved! ((Hugs)) and happy mother's day to all my friend's (especially my own mom!) remember to hug your kids extra tight today, they are a precious gift from God :)

home sweet home.

2009-05-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

i'm right where i want to be. home and loved. *sigh* (but in a good way) :) more on this later.

there's no place like home; there's no place like home...

2009-05-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

i should be sleeping...
or at least reading and letting my mind wind down...
the night before a big trip i'm always a hot mess. i actually have everything packed; my clothes set out for tomorrow and the alarm clock set so that i have enough time to shower, brush my hair (though i wonder what the point will be after a super long flight!) and get to the airport in plenty of time.
still, i'm up and blogging. it's almost silly. but i'm worse than a kid on the night before christmas. going home sounds so appealing. i miss hugging my kids. i miss being near my husband. i miss everything about home. and i'm not one to rush time on, because i know it goes quickly enough on its own... but i just can't wait. and i'm so excited and full of big plans. there's nothing like being away to renew your resolve. there's something about being seperated from the ones you love most that makes you want to be a better person. it's a reminder that the grass is just the right shade of green. and just when you thought you couldn't love someone any more; your heart grows about three more sizes...
i keep learning that the biggest blessings come in the strangest forms.

it's easier to judge than it is to look in the mirror.

2009-05-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

i do not consider myself gracious.
nor graceful.
but rather a mean, spiteful, and grudgebearing girl...
all the more reason to be greatful for grace.
i want to be a better person.
but i'm so thankful that God meets us where we are;
all the while encouraging us to get to where we should be.
normally we judge others
for all the things
that we hate in ourselves.

mario.

2009-05-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

some pictures of mario. this little boy is just too precious for words. he's a reminder that miracles do happen, and you should count your blessings every single day.

i love these kids.

2009-05-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

leaving here will be bittersweet. i'm ready to go home to my honey and my monkies.. but my gosh, i'm going to miss these sweet little monkies here!

in the land where everyone speaks english! well, in theory ;)

2009-04-24T00:58:00.000-07:00

so i made it safe and sound (well, to california at least!). apparently my flight stopped in new york (which was totally not on my itinerary). and i had to catch a connecting flight to san francisco. and now i'm hanging out at the USO for the next few hours (which is totally AWESOME by the way :) my flight was pretty uneventful. no complaints other than the fact that it's been a really long trip. my flight to california was delayed by about two hours. but again, being that i have a really long layover here, no complaints; makes the trip seem shorter?
anyways, no pictures. however, i did want to take pictures of all the insane people wearing flip flops or heels. seriously? who travels like that? that's just something i don't understand!!
okay. that's all i got for you tonight. i'm super tired, but i think i'm going to chill out and watch some movies that i downloaded onto my ipod. thank you technology!!
i'm already missing those monkies at home and of course my markie!

my sister is cooler than your sister.

2009-04-21T01:40:00.000-07:00

i just got these adorable little cupcakes in the mail! the two on the end are washcloths rolled up as cupcakes!

i know.

you're jealous :)

i can't believe it's not butter...

2009-04-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

wee

2009-04-18T09:55:00.001-07:00

yay! we are going out tonight.
okay. sort of going out.
it's a going away at the base club.
that counts, right?

geisha love.

2009-04-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

i love love love! how this blanket turned out. i think this fabric is just too cute for words! :) i made it for a baby shower that i went to today, and let me tell you; my sewing machine was being more tempermental than a cranky woman! *lol*

but it did get finished, and i think the girl liked it.

i can't wait to get to the states and stock up on a bunch of fabric!! i like making these little blankies :)

what i learned today...

2009-04-16T03:07:00.003-07:00

~~don't be a hater~~ aren't you jealous??

and this is where i learned it:

http://sayssimpleton.blogspot.com/2007/09/using-strikethrough-font-in-blogger.html

courtesy of one of my favorite blogs: whiMSylove :)

he's a little train lover :)

2009-04-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

brandon and olivia share a room. they have a set of bunkbeds, and brandon's on the top bunk and olivia sleeps on the bottom.
well, this morning i heard olivia stirring, so i went up to get her. while i was up there brandon was laying in bed and staring at the train picture mounted on the wall next to him (he was facing away from me.) and he starts talking. and this is what i heard, "chuga chuga, choo choo..." "all aboard... chuga chuga choo choo..." "time to get off, chugga chugga choo choo!"
it was making me laugh, so i had to share!

ready for that vacation...

2009-04-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

i tend to post mostly pictures in my blogs for two reasons:
1. i figure that very few people care about what i actually have to say and only visit because of my beautiful beautiful children...
and
2. because being open, honest, and vulnerable sucks. it normally comes back to bite you in the butt, and nobody likes walking around feeling naked and as if everyone knows their deepest and darkest thoughts.
so that being said, feel free to psychoanalyze me and judge me.
here are my confessions for the day:
1. parenting is hard. really hard. even on the days that it's easy, it's still hard.
2. enjoy the baby years. you know, those annoying sleepless nights, where you walk around feeling as if you haven't bathed in years, and wondering when you will eat something other than chicken nuggets and hot dogs. no one tells you that those AREN'T the hard years. there comes a day when you have to release your children into the world. not as adults; but as children and preteens, and you can't protect them from other people's views and values or opinions.
3. today i feel worthless and like a terrible mom. i know that everyone has these moments, but none the less, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
4. no, i will not tell you why, or admit to you the things that make me feel so terrible and vulnerable.
5. i know that tomorrow is another day and i will forget feelings this way completely... until the next time.
and lastly.
6. i miss my friends from high school. i have lots of great and wonderful friends now, and am not complaining. but when you're grown up, friends are so different from the friends who knew you growing up. something about being a kid makes it easier to be who you really are. the older you get, the more masks you wear. this kind of makes me sad. kind of really a lot.
okay. done now. next time i will be more cheerful.

Just one more thing.

2009-04-12T06:10:00.000-07:00

As if Easter Sunday isn't a big enough reminder that we should be thankful for our lives. Sometimes other things happen to remind us to count our blessings! Today, I'm just extra thankful that my brother is safe, and would like to remind you all to say a little prayer for Cops and Military members who fight every day to keep us safe. More on this later...

skate photography

2009-04-11T03:46:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter from the Trail's

2009-04-11T02:53:00.001-07:00

you never know who will be knocking at your door.

2009-04-09T02:58:00.001-07:00

so there's a knock at my door and my kids tell me that someone is there for me (i was upstairs cleaning brandon and olivia's room). so i go downstairs and there's my neighbor from across the street w/ my daughter in a wagon.
turns out, olivia escaped from our house and was across the street playing in her carport. but that's not the best part. her son (who's like 6 or 7?) found here there and put her in the wagon and brought her to the park to his mom...
so... because we can't lock our door w/ a key from the inside, and there's no safety chain (like we had at our old house) i now have resorted to putting a baby gate outside our front door. any other suggestions? i don't even think we can add a latch because our door is metal. annnoyyying. if it weren't for the danger factor, it might even be funny.

things olivia can say, which we laugh at.

2009-04-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

NO, NO, NO... (which she normally says in three's)
Mine!! (which she normally says clutching said item and running away)
binky. (pacifier for the rest of you out there.
WaWa (michael; this is how brandon said it too *lol*)
Booger. (she says it in a sing song voice)
poop. (this too is one of her sing song voice words)
and my absolute favorite is when you ask her a question, she looks up and you and grins and says, "YEAH!!" it's adorable..
okay, resume. it's probably funnier in person. but i'm a mom, so of course anything that my kids do is cute.

we <3 self portraits :)

2009-04-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

fun friday; an afternoon in pictures.

2009-04-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

she loves them the most!

2009-03-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

happy birthday kylie :)

2009-03-28T04:33:00.000-07:00

i made this little minky tag blanket for my friend's daughter who's turning one today. i'm not quite finished with it, but i thought i'd show it off :) and here's a spiderman one that i'm working on too. these things are sooo soft and kids LOVE them! i'm going to make a star wars one next!! oh and i bought some really great geisha fabric that i plan on doing something with. not sure what yet... man, i really need to find my niche and stick with it. i swear, i have crafter's A.D.D.