dear matthew; this one's not for you.

my poor blog lately has been quite bare and sad. not necessarily because i lack things to talk about or that i haven't been taking pictures.
quite the opposite really.
i have lots of things to talk about. lots of things to say.
yet, one day i woke up and realized that right now it's not okay to be me.
my speech is limited and my thoughts are quite polite and unassuming. never before have i ever felt like i should be so apologetic about being myself. if i thought it were appropriate i might even use the F word. instead, let me just say this. right now, i'm just being honest.
(that's for you eloise.)
*lol*
anyways, here's my few random non descript and politically correct thoughts for the day/week/month:
-i believe that God has a plan for everything. sometimes sitting tight and waiting for things to run their course is hard. just because you feel like nothing is changing, and it feels like the whole world is sitting still, it doesn't mean it really is. things are in the works. never doubt that. <--- says the girl who feels stuck.
-goodbyes are hard. and never in my life have i struggled with them the way that i am right now. but this too will pass.
-some things about becoming your mother aren't all bad.
-never let other people make you feel like less. see things for what they are and accept them for what they are. at the end of the day you will always know where you stand.
letting go is something i will never do gracefully.
and i <3 cryptic talk more than anything.
that's it.
for now.