Tuesday, October 21, 2008

31 for 21 from someone else.

since i'm assuming that you guys don't necessarily check out the blogs that i subscribe to, this is one that i would like to share with you. it's written by datri (opposite kids), and i just thought it touched the whole point that people are trying to make about down syndrome. it's beautiful and sometimes as parents i think that we just need to be reminded to love our kids a little more!

"When Kayla was just a few weeks old, a nice lady in the book club I used to go to suggested I meet her friend in our town who had an 8 year son with Down syndrome. So, toting my little baby so full of uncertainty and possibilites, I went to visit them.I'll be honest, I was pretty shocked and terrified by what I saw. The boy wasn't toilet trained, wasn't talking (just grunting), was constantly flailing his arms, and seemed out of it in general. His mom assured me that her son was a "worst case scenario" and Kayla wouldn't be anything like that.Well, you just never know, do you?The boy is 12 now and was recently diagnosed with autism. His single mom had to put him in a residential placement because he just became too much for her to handle. She says he's doing fine there and is even socializing with the other boys and he's happy. But still, I'm sure it was such a difficult choice to make.Sometimes I wonder if Kayla scares new parents, since she's four and not talking, nowhere near being toilet trained, and is nowhere near her peers (even her peers with Down syndrome) in fine motor, gross motor or cognitively.I think how that boy scared me back then, and honestly in the dark parts of my mind, I wonder if Kayla will follow that same path. But in the end, it doesn't really matter. Because I love Kayla with all my heart. I haven't given up on my goals and dreams for her, but I have adjusted them. So now maybe she won't talk, but she'll use a communication device.One thing that's always bugged me about the Down syndrome advocacy groups is how they always seem to show the sunny side of it -- the successful, "higher functioning", examples. And I'm proud of those people and I understand that it's necessary to show DS in a positive light so as not to increase the already horrific termination rate.But, in the quest to make our kids seem "normal", what does that say about the value of those who are NOT and never going to be "high functioning". Don't our kids have value, too?"

1 comment:

teri said...

Thank you so much for adding my blog to your list. I enjoy your blog and check it out frequently. Take care.