Friday, January 16, 2009

welcome to the silent years.

teenagers scare me.
and i think that what scares me the most is that being a young mom, i remember the thoughts that go through the teenage brain. i can sympathize with the teen angst. and the drama and feeling like you know everything, and knowing that no one could possibly understand the depth of the pain that you go through.
and the amazing thing is that once you grow up, you realize that you know absolutely nothing about the way the world works. all the knowledge, the wisdom suddenly vanish and you are left to parent the children who have inherited your past ideals.
this is terrifying.
i can do crying babies. i can do diaper changes and late night feedings. but when it comes to real parenting; explaining life and the way things to work. trying to mold a productive and intelligent human being. those are the real challenges. those are the things that you need a manual for. no one tells you that one day your children stop seeing you through rose colored glasses. no one tells you how to heal the emotional wounds, that really only can be tended to by time...
and that's the struggle.
drawing the line between wanting to be your child's friend and having to be their parent. loving your children with all your heart and knowing that sadly, they will still think that you are the dumbest people ever...

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